MORNINGS
ON COMING HOME
I cannot begin to describe how much I value the feeling of coming home to mine and Mikey’s PERFECT casita in the magic of this mountainous jungle in the South of Costa Rica.
The peace I feel, the way that I get to live each day, so connected to and in and amongst nature. The difference from life here, to less than a year ago, is night and day compared to the 8 years lived in London. I feel so much closer to nature, my senses all stimulated by the natural world. I am reminded that nature is my nature, I am a part of it.
Whilst I miss certain aspects of London, mostly my delicious friends, fun sweaty queer dancing, my go-to local spots to eat, I don’t quite know if I ever felt home there on reflection. Home in the definition of emotional sanctuary, a place where I feel safe and held. That is how I feel here and it is so special.
I feel connected here in the jungle - calmer, more grounded, more tiny and so perfectly powerless at the hands of Mother Earth and her impossible to fully grasp or describe beauty, unpredictable weather and climate, the possibility of a monsoon, snake bite, puma sighting, crocodile attack. I love the way that nature is so serious here, so not something to fuck with or fight. What nature says goes.
I wake up just before the sun comes up over the mountains more or less at 5:20am everyday. I locate Chicken (my dog) and have a morning love sesh whilst I look out through the thin curtains closed over the windows in my room that perfectly frame the slow rise of daylight.
Sometimes, if I find myself awake earlier than the sun, I get up and make my way to the kitchen for a cup of something warm and caffeinated.
I plod, mug full, and with sleepy excitement, back outside to the deck that is directly above my bedroom, ready to sit, listen and watch the greatest show on earth unfurl.
The light slowly begins to flood the vista, the shadowy outlines of the mountains return into view for another day in warmth of the soon to appear sun. The sea of trees begin to brighten with the morning, we are reintroduced. I am able to see them once again, gently moving through every hue of green, from dark to light and everywhere in between, brightening. I smile.
I feel the cool humidity of the night air quickly warm as the sun makes his journey upward, the light breaches the mountain and a chorus of birdsong erupts in unison. A dog barks, the neighbours cockerel begins to screech. A family of toucans take flight, the cicadas vibration rises in aural crescendo, as nature signals - the day is here.
I sit alone some mornings, dreaming about having the ability to look at each and every tree amongst the millions that I see sprawled in their clusters, decorating and accentuating the mountains. As dawns light begins to intensify; turning from pastel orange and soft cloudy pinks, to richer contrasts, I imagine what it would be like if I had a superpower within my eyes. I imagine, and fantasise about having the ability to be able to zoom in meter by meter, my eyes a powerful lens that never reaches an end point, eventually becoming a microscope. I dream of being able to home in and examine each tree, looking at the monkeys and the birds or squirrels, then zoom further to see the branch decorated with insects, then further to the lichen, the pattern and colour within microscopic detail.
I feel so grateful, I find myself so often in a state of mesmerism at the world around me here when I see a toucan in the tree by my casa, a neon blue Morpho butterfly dancing its way along the dirt track to the finca, I feel giddy and the emotion is pure childlike enchantment, a state that I now work very hard to maintain even when I feel low. This incredible book The Enchanted Life: by Sharon Blackie is a fabulous guide to achieving this feeling no matter where you live, I couldn’t recommend it more.
“I believe that enchantment is an attitude of mind which can be cultivated, a way of approaching the world which anyone can learn to adopt: the enchanted life is possible for everybody. In this book I’ll share with you my own experiences, and the experiences of several men and women from around the world, as they demonstrate how we can bring enchantment into every aspect of our daily lives. Because enchantment, by my definition, has nothing to do with fantasy, or escapism, or magical thinking: it is founded on a vivid sense of belongingness to a rich and many-layered world; a profound and whole-hearted participation in the adventure of life.”
I now, thanks to Sharon, believe that enchantment IS an attitude of mind which can be cultivated, a way of approaching the world which anyone can learn to adopt: the enchanted life is possible for everybody.
Frankie x